Cannabis Cartman Christie Attacks Reefer Madness Rubio

   

Florida Senator Marco Rubio had his momentum (or “Marcomentum,” if you will) blunted by New Jersey Chris Christie at the final Republican debate before the New Hampshire primary. Rubio had been seen as the “establishment” candidate with the most momentum following his strong third-place finish, just one point behind national frontrunner Donald Trump and five points behind Tea Party favorite Ted Cruz. Governor Christie relentlessly and brutally attacked Rubio for his lack of experience and his reliance upon talking points.

Embarrassingly, Sen. Rubio went back to his canned talking points again and again, claiming that President Barack Obama is deliberately attempting to change America and how the first-term Florida Senator is just the candidate to make our nation the greatest country in the history of the world again. Governor Christie, who you may have heard is a former federal prosecutor, treated Rubio as if he were a murder suspect being grilled about his alibi and the one-term senator seemed sweaty and shaken by the end of the interrogation, err debate. “Rubio chokes,” Politico’s Shane Goldmacher declared.

Political commentators quickly named Christie a winner of the debate and Marco Rubio the loser, although we shall see if their performances will make a difference in New Hampshire, where Christie really needs a good showing to stay relevant in the GOP race. The real winners, however, are the entire cannabis community and the majority of Americans that support ending prohibition. Chris Christie jumped out of the gate as the anti-cannabis candidate, stating that marijuana users were diseased and needed to be cured by law enforcement, but then he was joined by Marco Rubio who also stated that he would waste federal law enforcement resources to trample the will of the voters who have legalized marijuana in their state.

We’ve had some fun with Chris Christie, dubbing him the Cartman of the 2016 Republican primary because he thinks that the cannabis community should respect his authority (or is it authori-tah?) regardless of the suffering it will cause. Cannabis Cartman Christie has done us a huge favor by taking down Reefer Madness Rubio as the Florida Senator seemed to be galvanizing the Republican establishment and has been polling the best among the GOP candidates, drawing even with Bernie Sanders and beating Democratic frontrunner Hillary Clinton in the latest Quinnipiac University poll. As the GOP primary campaign moves along, the entire cannabis community and the concerned citizens that care about sensible drug policies can root for Christie and Rubio to bring each other down.

Chris Christie Cartman
Cannabis Cartman Christie blunted the momentum of Reefer Madness Rubio at the GOP debate Saturday night and the cannabis community won.