Ngaio Bealum is one of the premiere cannabis comics in the United States and you’ll see why he has performed at just about every Hempfest on the West Coast and too many cannabis-related events to even keep track of. He has appeared on Comedy Central, BET, MTV and many other networks and shows across your television dial. Very recently, he was a featured guest on the hilarious podcast of Doug Benson (Super High Me, Half-Baked), Getting Doug With High. In addition to his cannabis comedy, he is the former editor of West Coast Cannabis Magazine and has been a tireless activist for legalization. While Ngaio’s comedy is hilarious whether you are a full-fledged member of the cannabis community or not, it certainly doesn’t hurt. You should follow him on Twitter @ngaio420
If you had the money, time, and desire, you could go to some sort of cannabis friendly event almost every day of the year. This is my attempt at keeping an up to date list of most of the major (more than 500 people, or some sort of culturally cool or significant type festivity) all over The USA. If you have an event to add, please leave it in the comments. I will try my best to keep this list current, but we all how cannabis users are about planning ahead.
I got the chance to visit the Bushido Gardens, a Medical Marijuana grow somewhere in Oregon. I got a chance to talk to the grower about cannabis and growing techniques. I also got to watch him roll a really nice joint. This is the first of what will be a whole series of videos about growing marijuana. If you would like for me to visit your garden, shoot me an email. Discretion is assured.
The “Green Rush” is booming. As marijuana prohibition falls by the wayside, many “legitimate” entrepreneurs are looking to get into the cannabis industry. The funny thing is, most of them are white. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but let’s remember that 61 percent of the people in jail or prison for non-violent drug offenses are Black or Hispanic. So while it is great that this industry is booming, it’s not so great that many of the people most affected by cannabis prohibition are not getting a chance to take advantage of the opportunities of cannabis legalization.
The Minority Cannabis Industry Association is looking to change that. Their goal is to create more opportunities for people of color in the cannabis industry. I had a chance to talk to MCIA Vice President Jesce Horton at the 2015 Oregon Medical Marijuana Business Conference. Take a look. Leave a comment. Get Involved.
So, you just hit a jay straight to the face. Now you need some sort of entertainment. Sure, you could play a video game or watch the same old boring things on TV. But why not try watching some shows made just for people that really, really like weed? Please use this handy-dandy listicle to get your stoner bingewatching on.
1. Getting Doug With High
Doug Benson has been an advocate for cannabis legalization for years. The star of Super High Me also produces two other great shows: Doug Loves Movies, and Getting Doug with High. GDWH (that’s what the fans call it) has a very simple premise: Doug’s friends come to his studio basement(known as the Spacement), smoke weed, and chat. It’s very entertaining. This episode with the dudes from Workaholics is one of the best:
2. Strain Hunters
Wow. These guys run Greenhouse Seeds in The Netherlands. Not only do they produce some super nice cannabis, they travel the world searching for rare old school cannabis strains to bring home and cultivate. It’s like he’s the “Indiana Stoned” of ancient pot plants. Check out this visit to Swaziland:
3. Stoney Sunday
Coral Reefer started out with a twitter page and a love of cannabis. Nowadays, her Stoney Sunday vlog is viewed by thousands of happy stoners all over the world. This episode where her mom visits is particularly delightful.
4. B Real – The Smokebox
B – Real is a legend in the cannabis community. He is the guy who popularized the blunt, for crying out loud. His youtube channel is full of cool things, but the Smokebox series could be my favorite. it’s llike “Comics in Cars Getting Coffee”, but with weed. here he is with another legend, Tommy Chong:
Marijuana and stand up comedy go together like setups and punchlines. Back in the 70’s, George Carlin and Cheech and Chong were perhaps the biggest advocates of cannabis-infused comedic lifestyles, but folks like Steve Martin had a few jokes in his act. The 80’s? Not so much. Reagan’s drug war kinda put the kibosh on the pot jokes for a bit. In the 90’s however, cannabis humor made a gigantic comeback. Dave Chappelle, Doug Benson, and other folks brought pot back to the mainstream consciousness. Here in the 21st century, there are more than a few comics that talk about the joys, highs and lows of getting stoned and cannabis culture. Here are some of my favorite cuts:
This “Renaissance Nerd” is not only a great standup, he also writes for Marvel Comics (Deadpool) and has a great podcast (http://www.earwolf.com/show/nerd-poker/). Here he is with a story about smoking weed in Portland:
He’s just funny. No one else has his energy or style. Here he talks about the benefits of weed in general:
Ngaio Bealum ( www.twitter.com/ngaio420)has been a marijuana activist for more than 20 years. He’s also, really really funny. And good looking. And an amazing lover that can be very discrete if you’d like, yet haunt your dreams. Here he is talking about weed and parenting:
And here he is chopping it up with Doug Benson on an episode of “Getting Doug With High”:
Was he a comedy Genius? Visionary? Bad Ass? yes. The legend of Bill Hicks has only grown in the years since his death. I got to see him perform live twice and it changed my perception of stand up comedy. Here he is breaking down the difference between marijuana and alcohol:
Cheech and Chong
Two of the best ever. Did these guys invent the modern stoner stereotype? Does Pinocchio have wooden balls, man? This is from of their funniest movies, Up in Smoke:
Come on, son. We’re talking about the star of Half Baked. In this clip, Dave talks about weed, booze, cops and white privilege. It’s masterful.
Garfunkel and Oates
It’s so easy to get a medical marijuana recommendation in California, they wrote a song about it.
Can you carry your medical marijuana (or your recreational marijuana) on a commercial airplane? I do. It’s usually not a big deal. Over the past 20-plus years of bringing weed with me dang near everywhere I go, I have had no real problems.
There are two ways to carry your marijuana in an airport: In your pocket and in your luggage. I suppose there are more than two ways, but most of the other ways are kinda gross. In the days before 9/11 (and before California had a medical-marijuana law), I would just put my stash in my pocket, make sure I had no metal objects on my person, so as to not set off the metal detectors, and breeze right through the machine. No problems.
Nowadays, with the new backscatter machines being able to detect that fat sack in your pants (heh), that method isn’t so foolproof. Last year, I got caught (by the backscatter machine!) with a small amount of cannabis and a pipe while flying from Spokane, Washington, to California, and the Transportation Security Administration agent didn’t bat an eye. I told him it was medical cannabis, and he said to me, “Well, that’s not going to affect the safety of the plane in any way.” I agreed with him that I posed no risk, and he sent me on my merry way.
When it comes to putting the weed in your luggage, make sure you have your letter of recommendation next to your meds. A friend of mine was flying from Oakland to Los Angeles with some cannabis flowers and a variety of hashish samples in his suitcase. Security found it and called him into the office. The sheriff there told him they had found his stash, noted that he had his letter of recommendation and that everything seemed to be in good order. My friend kept his cannabis and made his flight. I have also placed weed in my carry-on bag, accidentally left some in my sport coat and sent it through the X-ray machine (do X-rays harm weed?). And way back in the day, I would carry it in my shoes. Can’t do that one anymore.
While the airport is technically federal property, and it is in fact illegal to carry cannabis across state lines, the TSA doesn’t really care about small amounts of weed. Its official policy is to allow local law enforcement to deal with people found carrying small amounts of pot in an airport. Local law enforcement in states with medical-marijuana laws generally won’t do anything if you have your medical-cannabis patient paperwork. In states with legal marijuana, it’s a little different.
The authorities are doing their best to prevent weed from leaving their state so other states don’t get upset. Even so, being caught with a small amount of pot at the Denver airport carries a first time fine of $150, although they haven’t fined anyone yet. They just confiscate the stash. In Washington, they will turn you over to the real cops if you have more than an ounce. The bottom line is, if you are carrying a small amount of cannabis, you most likely won’t encounter any real problems.
(This piece is for entertainment purposes only, please consult with your own attorney for legal advice.)
Hello, and welcome to the wonderful world of weed! Be aware: The cannabis-etiquette rabbit hole is full of traps and inconsistencies, as well as local customs and arcane superstitions.
Some general rules (pirate voice): “The code is more what you’d call ’guidelines’ than actual rules.”
Pass the dutchie to the left-hand side. Yes, it’s a song. The first joint or bowl or whatever should go to the left. If the circle is big enough and the weed is plentiful, someone may send another bowl or blunt counterclockwise—and it’s always funny when someone gets passed both joints at the same time. That person, of course, should attempt to smoke both joints at once.
Puff, puff, pass. This is America. The joint should proceed around the circle in a timely manner. If the joint is not being hit, it’s just burning weed. The rules are different in Spain, where the doobie is probably some mixture of hash and tobacco and burns hella slow, everyone is unemployed, “tranquilo” is the order of the day, and so it takes for-freaking-ever for the joint to get back to you.
Don’t burn the whole bowl. When smoking from a pipe, one should endeavor to burn a corner of the weed in the bowl, thereby ensuring that the next person gets a “green” hit and a chance to savor the flavor of the weed. This is not always possible, but do your best. If the bowl is cashed when it gets to you, reload it.
Don’t slobber. Come on. There used to be a racially charged term for this sort of marijuana abuse, but times have changed. Suffice it to say, please keep your lips dry when hitting the joint or bowl. There are few things worse than being passed a soggy joint. Ew.
Know your health. If you have a cold, don’t share a joint. Duh. If you have a cold sore or some sort of thing on your lip, please think about what you may be introducing to the circle. I have never heard of anyone getting the herp from passing joints around, but still.
Try to bring some weed with you every once in a while. It’s not hard to get. New smokers get the benefit of the doubt, but if you keep showing up to a session empty-handed, people will start to talk.
Introduce yourself. When approaching a group of people smoking weed, a friendly smile and a “hello” work wonders. I have met some cool people while standing in the circle or sneaking around the corner to smoke a bowl. Use a nickname if you want, but it’s always better smoking with friends than with strangers.
Most of all, just be polite and kind, and most issues will take care of themselves.
Good pot is good pot, whatever you call it. That being said, who is in charge of naming the strains? Do growers and cultivators even think about what they name these things? I know a guy who had a strain he developed for years. It was fantastic. I asked him what he had named it and he said. “Purple Retard”. I just kind of stared at him for a while. Then he told me, “This strain has been crossed and back-crossed so many times, it’s retarded”. I got the joke, but I still found the name more than a little insensitive. And that’s probably my biggest problem with these things. Your pot is great but your name sucks. Here are some more examples:
We get it. If you mash up the word “Herer” (as in Jack Herer, marijuana demigod) and the word “marijuana” , you can come up with the word “Herojuana”. How clever. Too bad the name of your strain makes it sound like you mixed heroin and marijuana together. Does anyone do that? Plus, why are you trying to get all the prohibitionists riled up? We have been telling them for years that contrary to what they have been led to believe, marijuana is safer and less addictive than heroin (Because it is). But now you go and name a strain “Herojuana”? For shame, because Herojuana is a great Indica with hella soothing effects. Oh, and unlike heroin, if you smoke too much, it won’t kill you.
Same deal. Too clever by half. We get it: “This stuff is like crack” usually means that something is tasty and enjoyable and you can’t stop doing it. So in that regard, the label “green crack” is two out of three. Super Tasty. Hella Enjoyable. Addictive? No. And why would you want to liken marijuana to crack anyway? I have seen it listed as “Green Candy” in more and more clubs, so I guess some people are starting to come around.
this isn’t even a real strain. It’s a description of the way “Pineapple Express” smells. “Pineapple Express” isn’t a real name either.They made up the name for the Seth Rogan movie. I guess it is a real name now because some growers will take a good strain that wasn’t selling and give it a hot new name to rook the newbies. This practice has got to stop. Although I did smoke something called “Pineapple Euphoria” in Oregon once. It was really good.
Sigh. Guns? really? Whatever happened to the hippie ideals, man? Great sativa dominant strain that has been around since the 90’s. AK-47 is also very easy to grow, and it flowers fast. They say it can be ready in as little as 47 days. Maybe not that fast, but you get the point.
Did the grower even know what MK-Ultra was when they named this strain? Why on earth would you name a strain after an insidious CIA sponsored program dedicated to performing mind control experiments? I have no idea if this strain’s any good or not. I am too afraid to smoke it.