The Munchie Mogul: Trump’s Diet is Every Teenage Stoner’s Dream

   

Filets-o-Fish, Big Macs, Wendy’s, Oreos, and plenty of soda. This is the actual, no-kidding diet of the Republican presidential front-runner. Yes, Donald Trump, the man who, per his family physician, would “unequivocally…be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency,” eats like a teenage stoner. The proof? A sparkling Washington Post piece by beloved local D.C. food critic and author Tom Sietsema in which the writer explores the culinary habits of a man well on his way to the GOP presidential nomination.

Wendy’s on his custom Boeing 757 while campaigning with Jerry Falwell Jr. in Iowa. McDonald’s with advisers during a swing through New Hampshire. Two eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns and two biscuits at the Ham House during a pit stop in Greenville, S.C.

The world is his oyster, but that’s not what he’s consuming. The front-runner for the GOP presidential nomination eats like a teenage boy, inhaling Filets-o-Fish and Big Macs. “It’s great stuff,” he says of his fast-food habit.

Does Donald Trump have the munchies? Judging by his waffling stance on cannabis legalization, close relationship with proud marijuana-foe Chris Christie, and the fact that he’s frequently described as a teetotaler, the answer is probably no. What’s certain, however, is that the potential next Leader of the Free World is eating like a 16-year-old lucky enough to have parents out of town on a business trip and full access to the credit card and family car.

Also, a bong.

And like any rebel teen, The Donald eschews breakfast, preferring instead carb-overload (with a healthy dose of pandering) when he’s not chowing down on Oreos and Diet Coke:

Breakfast is his least favorite meal of the day, and if he indulges, he prefers bacon and eggs, or cornflakes “right out of the fields of Iowa,” he told Fox News before the debate he skipped — in Iowa. Lunch might be eaten at his desk. “My big thing is dinner.” That’s when, he has revealed in various Q&As, he likes pasta, second helpings of potatoes au gratin and the aforementioned steak, which, unlike any serious eater, he wants cooked so thoroughly that “it would rock on the plate,” according to what his longtime butler at the Mar-a-Lago club in Palm Beach told the New York Times

Donald Trump’s most serious competitor for the Republican presidential nomination, Ted Cruz, has been working overtime lately to make a nickname–any nickname–stick to the Teflon Don. Presumably sick of the “Lyin’ Ted Cruz” label that Trump has effectively slapped on the Texas senator, Cruz has been pushing the weak and absolutely desperate-sounding “Sleazy Donald” ever since a tit-for-tat battle erupted between the two candidates regarding their respective wives.

Perhaps in light of this recent revelation, Lyin’ Ted could try a different approach:

Tokin’ Trump, Greasy Donald, The Munchie Mogul. Take notes, Ted.

Featured Image Credit: DonkeyHotey via flickr Creative Commons (image edited)

Alibi writes weed news right here at Marijuana Politics, and infrequently updates The Stoner's Journal. You'll find him

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